At the funeral of my father on 2nd January we kindly asked that instead of buying flowers, that donations be made to the Multiple Sclerosis Society. On Saturday my mother received a letter of thanks from the Derby branch stating that £175 had been donated in total. My thanks go out to all those who contributed to this sum. I am personally calling and thanking known donors but some donations were made anonymously - so this is to thank those of you who chose to donate in this manner. From myself and the Cooper family - Thank you!
Monday, 25 February 2013
Thursday, 7 February 2013
My Honda Transalp XL700VA-A
This is me at CMC Draybrook, Nottingham late this afternoon having done the paperwork and been given the keys, just before I left for home. Looking forward to doing some miles on this and for the first time ever I have named my bike, so please be kind and gracious to Annie the Tranny.
Taking delivery of my 2010 Honda Xl700VA-A Transalp
Where will mine take me? Daily commuting starts next week. Ride-outs round Derbyshire Peak District, down into the Midlands and up into Yorkshire. Annually I plan to ride into Europe with plans for trips into the Alps and beyond. The Deauville did me for over 7 years and 43,000 miles. Part of the deal with CMC includes a Lifetime Warranty provided I use them for all servicing to the manufacturer's requirements, which sounds like a sound option. This should be another long term relationship.
Taking delivery of my 2010 Honda Xl700VA-A TransalpWhere will mine take me? Daily commuting starts next week. Ride-outs round Derbyshire Peak District, down into the Midlands and up into Yorkshire. Annually I plan to ride into Europe with plans for trips into the Alps and beyond. The Deauville did me for over 7 years and 43,000 miles. Part of the deal with CMC includes a Lifetime Warranty provided I use them for all servicing to the manufacturer's requirements, which sounds like a sound option. This should be another long term relationship.
Tuesday, 5 February 2013
Gay marriage
In my view the definition of marriage has been handed down from God through the church across the ages.
So what right do parliament have to redefine marriage?
Civil Partnership - yes.
Gay marriage? No!
So what right do parliament have to redefine marriage?
Civil Partnership - yes.
Gay marriage? No!
Wednesday, 30 January 2013
Deauville replacement
After week of trying and being thwarted by mother nature and the weather, yesterday I finally got to test ride a motorcycle I'd found through a classified advert on eBay put there by a local motorbike dealer. CMC have a big outlet at Clay Cross in Derbyshire which is well known, but this bike was on sale at their Nottingham showroom at Daybrook.
Sue and I had popped over to view the bike and spend time checking out a few other options on Saturday afternoon, but with snow on the ground and freezing temperatures causing black ice there was no way I wanted to be out on a demo ride and nor would they let me. So with all the snow gone and a break in the weather I made a call and zipped over there after work yesterday. As arranged my good mate Steve met me there (he lives about a mile away) to give practical and moral support - I always like to have another pair of eyes with me to avoid those "rose tinted glasses" situations where you end up with a right dog when others can see it for what it is and you can't.
Well no trouble in this instance, it looks good, goes well and I can (just about) get my feet on the deck when at a standstill. Considering it has only 5 bhp more than my old 650 Deauville it goes a lot sharper so I have to put that down to the newer technology Honda have built into it. What is it? It is a Honda XL700VA Transalp with full luggage, heated grips and crash protection bars. Collection is arranged for Saturday, if they can source and fit a centre stand by then, otherwise I'll have to wait a bit longer.
Sue and I had popped over to view the bike and spend time checking out a few other options on Saturday afternoon, but with snow on the ground and freezing temperatures causing black ice there was no way I wanted to be out on a demo ride and nor would they let me. So with all the snow gone and a break in the weather I made a call and zipped over there after work yesterday. As arranged my good mate Steve met me there (he lives about a mile away) to give practical and moral support - I always like to have another pair of eyes with me to avoid those "rose tinted glasses" situations where you end up with a right dog when others can see it for what it is and you can't.
Well no trouble in this instance, it looks good, goes well and I can (just about) get my feet on the deck when at a standstill. Considering it has only 5 bhp more than my old 650 Deauville it goes a lot sharper so I have to put that down to the newer technology Honda have built into it. What is it? It is a Honda XL700VA Transalp with full luggage, heated grips and crash protection bars. Collection is arranged for Saturday, if they can source and fit a centre stand by then, otherwise I'll have to wait a bit longer.
Wednesday, 9 January 2013
Volvo S40
As I said in Stuff posted back on 13th December, I am now a Volvoist, a Volvo owner and it's time for some comment on the subject. First, I never thought I'd ever be a Volvo owner / driver - that's for the elderly and / or safety obsessed, not me, I'm not one of them, am I?
So I am surprised that this little car which was bought simply because it is came over as an honest little car is actually a pleasure to live with. Like most cars it has bings and boings to remind the forgetful that seat belts have to be worn, that doors have to be shut, and all the stuff that stupid people forget / ignore. But these are much more friendly than their German equivalents. These start off nice and quiet, the volume building as you go, not shouty-shouty like those in the Mercedes and VW I have owned. The rear parking sensor is usable and even picks up kerbs, in fact everything is pretty well sorted and refined for such a small family car. The central console has a menu that controls the computer controlled functions of the car which I find really easy to use. The windscreen has a quick clear function which works well and the driving position is so comfortable. The sound system is really good too, easy to set up, program and adjust to suit for personal preferences.
So it is easier to list the things I don't like. The nearside mirror has a very poor field of view so it is just as well it is electrically adjustable (and that is easy to use). The rear screen could do with a wiper to speed up clearing it. The boot could be a bit bigger (actually, quite a lot bigger, it is small) and there is very little storage space in the cabin. The Pirelli tyres are quite noisy so I will soon be replacing them.
After the 2 bigger and much more powerful diesels this 1.8 petrol has taken a little getting used to (and I think I'd like a diesel version even better). The fuel tank is half the size, and consumption is roughly 10 mpg less than the bigger cars which means I am filling it up on a more regular basis - but at least each fill costs so much less at roughly half of the 2 diesels. We have done a couple of long trips in it and they were both trouble and pain free, so rather unexpectedly I am enjoying being a Volvoist. Suzie is happy to drive it (she would not drive the Passat which she hated with a vengeance) and Andy has given it his seal of approval (first time he's done that since I sold the Honda Accord) saying it is better than both the German cars I've owned. They were good examples of their marques but I agree with him, it is, I am surprised!
So I am surprised that this little car which was bought simply because it is came over as an honest little car is actually a pleasure to live with. Like most cars it has bings and boings to remind the forgetful that seat belts have to be worn, that doors have to be shut, and all the stuff that stupid people forget / ignore. But these are much more friendly than their German equivalents. These start off nice and quiet, the volume building as you go, not shouty-shouty like those in the Mercedes and VW I have owned. The rear parking sensor is usable and even picks up kerbs, in fact everything is pretty well sorted and refined for such a small family car. The central console has a menu that controls the computer controlled functions of the car which I find really easy to use. The windscreen has a quick clear function which works well and the driving position is so comfortable. The sound system is really good too, easy to set up, program and adjust to suit for personal preferences.
So it is easier to list the things I don't like. The nearside mirror has a very poor field of view so it is just as well it is electrically adjustable (and that is easy to use). The rear screen could do with a wiper to speed up clearing it. The boot could be a bit bigger (actually, quite a lot bigger, it is small) and there is very little storage space in the cabin. The Pirelli tyres are quite noisy so I will soon be replacing them.
After the 2 bigger and much more powerful diesels this 1.8 petrol has taken a little getting used to (and I think I'd like a diesel version even better). The fuel tank is half the size, and consumption is roughly 10 mpg less than the bigger cars which means I am filling it up on a more regular basis - but at least each fill costs so much less at roughly half of the 2 diesels. We have done a couple of long trips in it and they were both trouble and pain free, so rather unexpectedly I am enjoying being a Volvoist. Suzie is happy to drive it (she would not drive the Passat which she hated with a vengeance) and Andy has given it his seal of approval (first time he's done that since I sold the Honda Accord) saying it is better than both the German cars I've owned. They were good examples of their marques but I agree with him, it is, I am surprised!
Aprilia Shiver 750 GT
Saturday 5th January saw me pile all my riding gear into the boot of the car and drive over to Staffordshire Triumph for a test ride on this pretty little 2009 Aprilia Shiver 750 GT with just 6,400 miles under its wheels. I had been watching the bike on eBay, BikeTrader and MCN classifieds ever since selling my Deauville (i.e. all over Christmas and New Year) and was set on buying it if it was as good as the pictures and rode as well as it looked.
Tiko spotted me the moment I arrived - it is so nice to be met by a friendly and cheerful grin when you are looking to spend a load of dosh on a major purchase such as this. We chatted as I sat on the bike in the showroom, there was no rush, no pushy sales pitch, and eventually I got my gear on, signed my life away on an insurance waiver form and Tiko brought the bike out of the showroom, got it gassed up and tyres checked.
It has been more than 7 years since I test rode a bike and so I was full of trepidation, plus, I don't know my way around that part of the country that well. So tentative best describes my setting off. No need for fear, this was a well prepared machine that rode as well as it looked and the sound from those under-seat exhausts was glorious. I felt I was sitting a bit high, on rather than in the bike but boy, I was grinning insanely as I rode through urban streets heading out towards the A500 where I was looking forward to a blast. And it was a blast, but not the sort I was expecting. Acceleration was fabulous, far better than anything a Deauville could deliver, but as I went past 60mph I started to feel the full blast - on my chest. The aerodynamics of the fairing was directing all the wind straight onto my chest to the point where I felt I would probably be happier on a naked version of the Shiver. Two junctions down the A500 I came off, round the roundabout and blasted back off up the way and back to the showroom. This just confirmed the earlier impression - great bike, fabulous engine and accompanying sound track but the aerodynamics are all wrong.
Sitting down with Tiko we did some sums as I had a think... but at the end of the day I wasn't convinced. The fly-by-wire throttle was new to me and I'd probably get used to it. It isn't practical and options for luggage are limited and costly. I'd need heated grips, hand guards and a chain oiler for practical reasons. This was all starting to add up to more than I wanted to shell out.
So I walked away. I'm still thinking about it as I write this up 4 days later. I just love it's looks and the one I rode had been spoilt and had obviously lead a sheltered life. It had braided brake lines, rear hugger, belly pan and fender extender. It is immaculate in the true sense of the word and I still want it. But it doesn't fit into the role I have for it. For a blast around some Alpine roads it would be superb, but the ride there and back would be sheer hell.
Tiko spotted me the moment I arrived - it is so nice to be met by a friendly and cheerful grin when you are looking to spend a load of dosh on a major purchase such as this. We chatted as I sat on the bike in the showroom, there was no rush, no pushy sales pitch, and eventually I got my gear on, signed my life away on an insurance waiver form and Tiko brought the bike out of the showroom, got it gassed up and tyres checked.
It has been more than 7 years since I test rode a bike and so I was full of trepidation, plus, I don't know my way around that part of the country that well. So tentative best describes my setting off. No need for fear, this was a well prepared machine that rode as well as it looked and the sound from those under-seat exhausts was glorious. I felt I was sitting a bit high, on rather than in the bike but boy, I was grinning insanely as I rode through urban streets heading out towards the A500 where I was looking forward to a blast. And it was a blast, but not the sort I was expecting. Acceleration was fabulous, far better than anything a Deauville could deliver, but as I went past 60mph I started to feel the full blast - on my chest. The aerodynamics of the fairing was directing all the wind straight onto my chest to the point where I felt I would probably be happier on a naked version of the Shiver. Two junctions down the A500 I came off, round the roundabout and blasted back off up the way and back to the showroom. This just confirmed the earlier impression - great bike, fabulous engine and accompanying sound track but the aerodynamics are all wrong.
Sitting down with Tiko we did some sums as I had a think... but at the end of the day I wasn't convinced. The fly-by-wire throttle was new to me and I'd probably get used to it. It isn't practical and options for luggage are limited and costly. I'd need heated grips, hand guards and a chain oiler for practical reasons. This was all starting to add up to more than I wanted to shell out.
So I walked away. I'm still thinking about it as I write this up 4 days later. I just love it's looks and the one I rode had been spoilt and had obviously lead a sheltered life. It had braided brake lines, rear hugger, belly pan and fender extender. It is immaculate in the true sense of the word and I still want it. But it doesn't fit into the role I have for it. For a blast around some Alpine roads it would be superb, but the ride there and back would be sheer hell.
A life lived
Wednesday 2nd January - the only thoughts we had were for the cremation service for my father at 1 o'clock that afternoon. With mother we had done our best to arrange a celebration of dad's life. Suzie and Angie were in charge of getting the food prepared for the wake. I'd been with mother to the undertakers to make sure she got the service she wanted for dad, and had been with her when the reverend Bates had called on his fact finding visit so that he could say a few words. The music, hymns and prayers were all chosen, family contacted and along with a few friends invited to the ceremony. Directions had been issued as few of those coming know their way across Derby to the Markeaton Crematorium where the service was to be held in the small chapel.
Angie and John had been first to arrive, not surprising as Angie was helping Suzie, and John soon got a call to go and be support to our sister Chris who was staying at the bungalow with mother for her few days in from the USA. Most folks were going direct to the crematorium, so we set off in good time to make sure we were there when the hearse arrived.
And everything went smoothly. We all ended up in the right place at the right time. It was a simple service but fittingly for father it was a brass tacks, no fuss celebration of his achievements, his life and our memories of him. When it was done we all convoyed back round the ring road to our place for the wake. It was good to have a family gathering, just a shame it was for another death in the family (the last one had been my mother's mum nearly 6 years earlier).
Since then we have had a few phone calls from those who attended - all positive about how well we had balanced the event and the day, a fitting tribute to a man struck down by Multiple Sclerosis, a debilitating affliction that robbed him of his retirement and condemned mother to spend her retirement years as his full time carer. As mother so candidly put it - he's had nearly 30 years of hell, he has been to hell and back, hopefully now he is in a better place.
RIP Dad.
Angie and John had been first to arrive, not surprising as Angie was helping Suzie, and John soon got a call to go and be support to our sister Chris who was staying at the bungalow with mother for her few days in from the USA. Most folks were going direct to the crematorium, so we set off in good time to make sure we were there when the hearse arrived.
And everything went smoothly. We all ended up in the right place at the right time. It was a simple service but fittingly for father it was a brass tacks, no fuss celebration of his achievements, his life and our memories of him. When it was done we all convoyed back round the ring road to our place for the wake. It was good to have a family gathering, just a shame it was for another death in the family (the last one had been my mother's mum nearly 6 years earlier).
Since then we have had a few phone calls from those who attended - all positive about how well we had balanced the event and the day, a fitting tribute to a man struck down by Multiple Sclerosis, a debilitating affliction that robbed him of his retirement and condemned mother to spend her retirement years as his full time carer. As mother so candidly put it - he's had nearly 30 years of hell, he has been to hell and back, hopefully now he is in a better place.
RIP Dad.
Monday, 31 December 2012
More damned rain
Saturday 22nd December saw the completion of the sale of my Deauville. The surprise was not that it sold but that when I went to the shed to reveal a cleaned and waxed, shiny example of the breed what I found was a dripping wet example. The shed roof was leaking and badly.
So when Sunday morning dawned bright, clear, breezy and dry I was off like a shot down to B&Q for a couple of rolls of roofing felt and some tacks to hold it down. What followed was a race against time and mother nature as I laid down 2 layers of felt, one running up and down, north to south and the other across from east to west, each dutifully overlapping to make further ingress of water more difficult and less likely.
And that has worked nicely. However, a foray into said shed today revealed that while that piece of DIY has had the desired effect, the south side of the shed which gets the worst of any blast that is going as it faces the prevailing winds - well that is now letting in water in a way that is just not conducive with protecting the contents from the elements. So it appears that further DIY is called for, but it'll not get done while this rain persists.
Damn and blast!
So when Sunday morning dawned bright, clear, breezy and dry I was off like a shot down to B&Q for a couple of rolls of roofing felt and some tacks to hold it down. What followed was a race against time and mother nature as I laid down 2 layers of felt, one running up and down, north to south and the other across from east to west, each dutifully overlapping to make further ingress of water more difficult and less likely.
And that has worked nicely. However, a foray into said shed today revealed that while that piece of DIY has had the desired effect, the south side of the shed which gets the worst of any blast that is going as it faces the prevailing winds - well that is now letting in water in a way that is just not conducive with protecting the contents from the elements. So it appears that further DIY is called for, but it'll not get done while this rain persists.
Damn and blast!
Goodbye 2012
Yet another year is ticked off and like those that preceded it the year had its high points and its low points but few exceptionally notable points. Somehow we have all managed to retain full time employment which means that we have been able to buy those things we have wanted, socialise with our friends and take the holidays that enticed us to places we'd not visited before. We have managed to save for the future and clear most of the debt that we had taken on in previous years.
Both our boys - now young men - have been fortunate in their career choices. Mark survived the purchase of BMI and secured a job within British Airways which saw him having to fly out to Tokyo as part of a small team consulting with Japan Airways on a collaboration piece. Andy was rewarded for his decision to take up an apprenticeship with Rolls Royce in Derby by being selected for a role in the Maintenance Division which he absolutely loves, and being recognised as a craftsman without having to complete the full 3 year term of the apprenticeship.
But 2012 has definitely been the year where Suzie and I have given up ever larger chunks of our time to others. Getting away on holiday together has really been the only time when we have had time to ourselves and while we have continued to function well as a team we need more time for us.
So what for 2013? Well it starts with father's cremation service on 2nd January, and with that out of the way John and I will have to cover off the legalities that are his stipulated by his Last Will & Testament as British law dictates. After that there is the on-going caring for mother but 2013 will be a year where we do more for us and less for others. My Deauville has been sold and I will be buying a newer motorbike to fill that gap in my life (not sure what it will be right now). Suzie will be 50 in March and we will be marking that with a trip (with friends) to China. Mark plans to buy his first house with his girlfriend while Andy's girlfriend starts the 2013 by collecting a Mini she has put a deposit onto replace her failing Ka.
So we have plans, they represent a change in direction, and we can say Goodbye 2012 as we welcome in 2013. Happy New Year everyone! I hope 2013 brings new light and more than a glimmer of hope into your lives.
Both our boys - now young men - have been fortunate in their career choices. Mark survived the purchase of BMI and secured a job within British Airways which saw him having to fly out to Tokyo as part of a small team consulting with Japan Airways on a collaboration piece. Andy was rewarded for his decision to take up an apprenticeship with Rolls Royce in Derby by being selected for a role in the Maintenance Division which he absolutely loves, and being recognised as a craftsman without having to complete the full 3 year term of the apprenticeship.
But 2012 has definitely been the year where Suzie and I have given up ever larger chunks of our time to others. Getting away on holiday together has really been the only time when we have had time to ourselves and while we have continued to function well as a team we need more time for us.
So what for 2013? Well it starts with father's cremation service on 2nd January, and with that out of the way John and I will have to cover off the legalities that are his stipulated by his Last Will & Testament as British law dictates. After that there is the on-going caring for mother but 2013 will be a year where we do more for us and less for others. My Deauville has been sold and I will be buying a newer motorbike to fill that gap in my life (not sure what it will be right now). Suzie will be 50 in March and we will be marking that with a trip (with friends) to China. Mark plans to buy his first house with his girlfriend while Andy's girlfriend starts the 2013 by collecting a Mini she has put a deposit onto replace her failing Ka.
So we have plans, they represent a change in direction, and we can say Goodbye 2012 as we welcome in 2013. Happy New Year everyone! I hope 2013 brings new light and more than a glimmer of hope into your lives.
Wednesday, 19 December 2012
End of journey
This morning I had an early phone call to advise me that my father had passed away peacefully at 04:55. The day has been spent ringing round to family advising them of the final release of father from the grips of multiple sclerosis. His body was taken to surgery at the QMC to meet his request that his body be used for medical research into MS. He is now laid at rest in the funeral director's parlour. Death certificate has been procured and will be registered tomorrow. His room at the home has been cleared ready for the next resident. Utility companies have been contacted. Ditto banks. Cremation service date/time agreed and booked for 13:00 2/1/13. Phone calls made advising family. And the wonders of probate start on Friday.
Thursday, 13 December 2012
Stuff
Because the focus has been on father, I haven't had much time to post updates on other things that have come and gone over the last month, so here is a brief run down.
I visited the Motorcycle Live event at the NEC in Birmingham, taking a Thursday off work and meeting up with some friends off the DeauvilleUK forum. A great day out that allowed me to get away from the pressures of life and just be me. Found and bought a new helmet which Suzie is going to give me as a Christmas present. And some winter gloves. Loved the 2013 Aprilia Caponord - it looks brill but doesn't have shaft drive that is so important in the adventure bike market so it won't out sell the BMW R1200GS or Triumph Explorer. The old version didn't sell well outside Italy and this could go the same way.
Mark has made a business flight to Tokyo for British Airways - time will tell if he has to go again. Meantime his car has failed it's MoT so that now needs sorting. Nothing serious but a pain right on Christmas - more expense.
Andy has now taken possession (shared with some mates) of a lock-up from which he can start working on his project car and do the servicing of family members cars.
Suzie is very busy at work and has been told that her job is not at risk of redundancy - others have not been so lucky. He little car continues to do well. She and I spent a weekend with Mark & Eleanor at their place near Staines, visiting Oxford Street in London and the Winter Fair in Hyde Park in a packed 2 day visit. Good to see them doing so well for themselves and obviously comfortable in their relationship.
Meantime, I have sold the VW Passat and now have a Volvo S40 1.8 in metallic black (the trip to Staines was it's first long trip). I love it, nice little car. Why did I sell the Passat? Simply because my employer has changed the expenses policy and now any journey over 100 miles (return) has to be done using a hire car, so the Passat would continue to cost me in repayments on the loan and depreciation while earning no income. Solution - sell Passat, clear loan, buy a smaller car with the money left over. Why a Volvo? Because of all the cars I checked out it was the nicest on the day.
And I have put the Honda Deauville up for sale - it is time for a change as I have had it for over 7 years. At the moment the primary candidate for replacing it is a 2004 Aprilia Caponord I have located for sale in West Sussex, but I have to sell the Deauville first....
I visited the Motorcycle Live event at the NEC in Birmingham, taking a Thursday off work and meeting up with some friends off the DeauvilleUK forum. A great day out that allowed me to get away from the pressures of life and just be me. Found and bought a new helmet which Suzie is going to give me as a Christmas present. And some winter gloves. Loved the 2013 Aprilia Caponord - it looks brill but doesn't have shaft drive that is so important in the adventure bike market so it won't out sell the BMW R1200GS or Triumph Explorer. The old version didn't sell well outside Italy and this could go the same way.
Mark has made a business flight to Tokyo for British Airways - time will tell if he has to go again. Meantime his car has failed it's MoT so that now needs sorting. Nothing serious but a pain right on Christmas - more expense.
Andy has now taken possession (shared with some mates) of a lock-up from which he can start working on his project car and do the servicing of family members cars.
Suzie is very busy at work and has been told that her job is not at risk of redundancy - others have not been so lucky. He little car continues to do well. She and I spent a weekend with Mark & Eleanor at their place near Staines, visiting Oxford Street in London and the Winter Fair in Hyde Park in a packed 2 day visit. Good to see them doing so well for themselves and obviously comfortable in their relationship.
Meantime, I have sold the VW Passat and now have a Volvo S40 1.8 in metallic black (the trip to Staines was it's first long trip). I love it, nice little car. Why did I sell the Passat? Simply because my employer has changed the expenses policy and now any journey over 100 miles (return) has to be done using a hire car, so the Passat would continue to cost me in repayments on the loan and depreciation while earning no income. Solution - sell Passat, clear loan, buy a smaller car with the money left over. Why a Volvo? Because of all the cars I checked out it was the nicest on the day.
And I have put the Honda Deauville up for sale - it is time for a change as I have had it for over 7 years. At the moment the primary candidate for replacing it is a 2004 Aprilia Caponord I have located for sale in West Sussex, but I have to sell the Deauville first....
The cycle of life
It's not good , but, that's life. Dad is going down hill and it looks very much as if he is coming to the end of his journey through Multiple Sclerosis. From diagnosis we were told the best he could expect was 30 years assuming that it ran it's course and wasn't accelerated in any way. And that is where he's at.
Recently he has had a trip into A&E because of a chest problem, but was sent back to the nursing home after a few days. Since then he has been moved onto liquid medication because his mouth is constantly sore and painful, making the tablet form hard to take. These last few days he has been on liquid foods as well, and liquid food supplements but he is starting to refuse to take them because he doesn't like the taste.
Visiting him is painful. Much of the time he no longer recognises us when we visit. Rarely acknowledges that we are there and his talking is stinted and muted, a whisper at best and rarely coherent.
And it is affecting us all. Andy was especially close to his granddad and he is taking it the hardest. Mother has had no other man in her life since she was 16. He is still (and always will be) my father. But he is not the man we all know/knew and love/loved. A shadow of his former self it is pitying to see him just lying there in his bed. We try and ensure that classical music is playing for as much of the time as possible, he has always enjoyed it and we have to assume he still does.
The nursing home are doing as much as they can with their limited resources to make him comfortable. Some of the young staff are going out of their way to give him their time. He started his time there as such a happy, forever smiling, person and they have watched his condition deteriorate. It affects them too. He is not their father or relative but they feel for him and us.
Then somebody has to tell the rest of the family - give them an update on how father is and what is / is not happening. So that'll be me then. Last night I phoned his younger brother and elder sister (but not his eldest sister, as she is away with the birds too). Let me just say that I have had nicer calls to make. I try and stay detatched, realistic and matter of fact about it (it helps me to cope) but it isn't easy - he is my dad.
None of us know how long our time will be here on earth. We still don't know how long Arthur will be with us. But what we do know is that his time is drawing to a closure. His journey is ending. He will be missed.
But life goes on....
Recently he has had a trip into A&E because of a chest problem, but was sent back to the nursing home after a few days. Since then he has been moved onto liquid medication because his mouth is constantly sore and painful, making the tablet form hard to take. These last few days he has been on liquid foods as well, and liquid food supplements but he is starting to refuse to take them because he doesn't like the taste.
Visiting him is painful. Much of the time he no longer recognises us when we visit. Rarely acknowledges that we are there and his talking is stinted and muted, a whisper at best and rarely coherent.
And it is affecting us all. Andy was especially close to his granddad and he is taking it the hardest. Mother has had no other man in her life since she was 16. He is still (and always will be) my father. But he is not the man we all know/knew and love/loved. A shadow of his former self it is pitying to see him just lying there in his bed. We try and ensure that classical music is playing for as much of the time as possible, he has always enjoyed it and we have to assume he still does.
The nursing home are doing as much as they can with their limited resources to make him comfortable. Some of the young staff are going out of their way to give him their time. He started his time there as such a happy, forever smiling, person and they have watched his condition deteriorate. It affects them too. He is not their father or relative but they feel for him and us.
Then somebody has to tell the rest of the family - give them an update on how father is and what is / is not happening. So that'll be me then. Last night I phoned his younger brother and elder sister (but not his eldest sister, as she is away with the birds too). Let me just say that I have had nicer calls to make. I try and stay detatched, realistic and matter of fact about it (it helps me to cope) but it isn't easy - he is my dad.
None of us know how long our time will be here on earth. We still don't know how long Arthur will be with us. But what we do know is that his time is drawing to a closure. His journey is ending. He will be missed.
But life goes on....
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